“Ahoy there, my name is Leigh Qurban. I’m a born-and-bred Adelaidian who has been performing stand up for four years now and has recently toured around Australia. This year I present my debut solo fringe show Simple Dumb Things. The theme to the show is simple… dumb things. It’s an observational stand-up show with a decent dollop of absurd to poke fun at those little, nothing aspects of life. No lessons learnt, no great meaning, just fun.”

Here’s what else Leigh had to say:

First comedy gig; when and where and how did it go?

“It was the 2011 Raw Comedy Heats. I got through! Although I do look back at some of those jokes and cringe.”

What drew you into performing comedy?

“Talking endless rubbish with my mates, and Tom Green Show VHS tapes from Blockbuster.”

Favourite comedian?

“At the moment Dr Brown… But ask me in a couple of days and I’m sure it will change.”

Which comedian you would most like to be?

“A highly paid one!”

Comedy duo or trio; who would be your partner/s in crime?

“Brandon Mannarino…. Mainly because we have co-written shows in the past, and I feel if I had answered differently he may comedy-divorce me.”

Favourite joke you knew as a kid?

“Two nuts walk into a park……one was assaulted. (Still gets me every time.)”

Most famous person’s number you have in your phone?

“What’s a phone?”

Favourite movie line?

“It’s not a tumour! – Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop.”

Best gig, worst gig and why?

“Best gig was the Adelaide Comedy Roast of Demi Lardner. Gigging to a packed crowd and hanging shit on your mates… What more could you ask for?”

Favourite imaginary friend as a kid?

“You don’t need imaginary friends when you have team sports.”

Job you currently perform in your alternative life when not performing comedy?

“Truck Renter… I rent trucks.”

Your porn star name?

“Claude Norseman.”

What is your hidden talent?

“Uncanny ability to recite every lyric to Bloodhound Gang songs whilst intoxicated”

Tell us something that people don’t yet know about you.

“I have an extra bone in my foot. It looks like I have two ankles. It was the premise of a break-up once.”

Favourite childhood memory?

“The dentist.”

Celebrity meet that left you star-struck?

“I once met Tom Green at Rhino Room. All I could say was ‘Love your stuff’, then gave him some awkward ‘Proud of you son’ pat on the shoulder and walked off.”

Pet hate?

“When people respond ‘maybe’ to a facebook event invite’”

Secret crush?

“Cyclists under my car.”

Time travel: where would you most love to go and why?

“I would go back in time and not give Tom Green that awkward pat on the shoulder… Rather embarrassing.”

How do you deal with annoying people who insist you tell them a joke once they discover you are a comedian?

“I usually tell them a lame one-liner. They look at me blankly. I look at them blankly. They don’t ask again.”

What’s something from your childhood that you still love and have today?

Sega Mega Drive.”

Best or worst advice you were every given?

“Turn right.”

Best or worst advice you ever gave?

“Turn left.”

A missed opportunity that you would give anything to go back and try?

“Cliff diving overseas… Jumping into water from heights is fun.”

Which comedian would you 1. Snog? 2. Marry? 3. Avoid?

“Snog Sarah Silverman, then marry Sarah Silverman, then avoid her because she’s too funny and would make me feel inadequate.”

Has anyone literally wet themselves laughing at one of your shows?

“Not visibly.”

What’s the best chat-up line you’ve ever heard/used?

“I once saw a drunken man try to give his expired Clipsal 500 Day pass lanyard to a German tourist in an attempt to woo her. It may not have been affective but it was damn funny for me!”

Favourite or worse heckle you’ve ever had?

“The leader of what was questionably a small cult tried to convince me he had inner dragon power. I don’t know how it related to my bit on KFC but I’ll never forget it.”

If you were a flavour of ice cream, what would you be and why?

“Vanilla because I’m more of a cheese platter man.”

Any famous last words?

“Extra garlic sauce, thanks.”

Leigh Qurban performs Simple Dumb Things at Rhino Room – Beer Garden from 9pm Thu Feb 12 until Sat Feb 28.

Book at FringeTIX on 1300 621 255 or adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix. Click HERE to purchase your tickets.

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