As of today most of the Western World has played host to Puppetry Of The Penis and having conquered the world with no pants on, they’re back to make eyes pop and legs cross. Don’t miss your chance to cackle at our nuts.

We sent the boys some questions. Here is what they had to say!

First comedy gig; when and where and how did it go?

MICKEY: “Boltz Cafe – Rundle St 1997! Adam Hills was host, it went great! A man in a bird suit rushed the stage and attacked a heckler.”

JAYMIE: “Valentine’s Day 2006 at The Comics Lounge Melbourne. I was by far the best act of the night and thought I am ready for the big time! Then I bomb every night for 2 years straight.”

What drew you into performing comedy?

MICKEY: “Nobody was taking me seriously at KFC.”

JAYMIE: “I was a Real Estate agent and hated it, so I did my first gig the night I quit my job.”

Favourite comedian?

MICKEY: “Me ! – Mickey D.”

JAYMIE: “Without sounding like a suck up I would say Mickey D. I was his stage tech during a festival run and I saw him do a different act every night and it was funnier than the night before.”

Comedian you would most like to be?

MICKEY: “Steve Monaghetti – he’s pretty funny.”

JAYMIE: “Carrot Top. The man is a multi-millionaire performing every night in Las Vegas. I am willing to go ginger for that.”

Comedy duo or trio; who would be your partner/s in crime?

MICKEY: “Trio – Me, Steve Monaghetti and Brett Wheeler.”

JAYMIE: “I once shuffled dick tricks with porn star James Deen, he had a real knack for it and plenty of “clay” to sculpt with.”

Favourite joke you knew as a kid?

MICKEY: “What do you call a man with a stick up his bum?? … An Ambulance!”

JAYMIE: “Two fish were sitting in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says ‘Gee I hope you know how to drive this thing’!”

Most famous person’s number you have in your phone?

MICKEY: “Former Pope Benedict.”

JAYMIE: “Michael Winslow (Sound Effect guy from Police Academy).”

Favourite movie line?

MICKEY: “You shot me in the Ass! – Denzel Washington – Training Day.”

JAYMIE: “Anything from Mystery Science Theatre 3000.”

Best gig, worst gig and why?

JAYMIE: “Worst gig was in Newcastle, the host brings me on stage with ‘This guy is from Melbourne!’ To which the crowd boo’d for 15 minutes straight.

“Best gig was getting revenge and returning to a sold out crowd and waving my willy at them.”

Favourite imaginary friend as a kid?

MICKEY: “No imaginary friends sadly… but I had a sharpened stick called Angie.”

JAYMIE: “I played with Lego right up til I was about age 15. It wasn’t a sexy chat up to a girl explaining how you spent a Friday night building a Lego Starship Enterprise.”

Job you currently perform in your alternative life when not performing comedy?

MICKEY: “Professional comedian since 2001 – Colonel Sanders couldn’t tie down this wild horse.”

JAYMIE: “Studying to be a Primary School teacher. I’ll be going from dick tricks on stage to teaching your children!”

Your porn star name [first pet/first street]?

MICKEY: “Syndrome Alexander.”

JAYMIE: “Ruben Palmer (Boom-chicka-waa).”

What is your hidden talent?

MICKEY: “I can fart Happy Birthday with my eye socket.”

JAYMIE: “Trust me, there is nothing hidden about my talent.”

Tell us something that people don’t yet know about you.

MICKEY: “Nothing really. It’s Adelaide!”

JAYMIE: “I was an extra in the movie Godzilla – Final Wars (I got to live out my dream of running terrified down a city street).”

Favourite childhood memory?

MICKEY: “The black panther at Cuddly Creek Zoo – spraying its muck on my sister… funniest thing ever.”

JAYMIE: “I was rejected by the lady in a video store because I tried to hire the Puppetry Of The Penis doco Tackle Happy because I was too young. Now I’m in the show!”

Celebrity meet that left you star-struck?

MICKEY: “I met Frank Ratta – the Harris Scarfes microphone guy… way back in his Renaissance Restaurant days.”

JAYMIE: “Adro from The Biggest Loser Season 1 the night after he won.”

Secret crush?

MICKEY: “Most Firemen.”

JAYMIE: “Flight attendants from Qatar airways (preferably female).”

Time travel: where would you most love to go and why?

MICKEY: “The Palaeolithic era. Mainly for the diet.”

JAYMIE: “I would go back and heckle Shakespeare.”

How do you deal with annoying people who insist you tell them a joke once they discover you are a comedian?

MICKEY: “I write them all down and sell them to The Project.”

JAYMIE: “I tell them to drop their pants and show me a trick instead.”

What’s something from your childhood that you still love and have today?

MICKEY: “My hands.”

JAYMIE: “My Mother. She is conflicted over my job but she is still proud.”

Best or worst advice you were ever given?

MICKEY: “Believe in yourself.”

JAYMIE: “There is no such thing as a Un-Funny dick show – Grand Master penis puppeteer Friendy.”

Best or worst advice you ever gave?

MICKEY: “Believe in Me.”

JAYMIE: “When I was a tech, I used to tell the act who was about to go on stage that a producer from Channel 9 was sitting in the audience talent scouting. Either they will rise up and smash the gig in order to impress the scout or get over come with nerves and die a horrible death.”

Which comedian would you 1. Snog? 2. Marry? 3.Avoid?

MICKEY: “Boo Dwyer, Boo, Dwyer and Boo Dwyer!”

JAYMIE: “Eddie Izzard for all trifecta.”

Has anyone literally wet themselves laughing at one of your shows?

MICKEY: “Yes. But the gig was at a hospital.”

JAYMIE: “POTP got its big break due to a high profile West End producer sitting next to a woman who laughed so hard that she wet herself. When the producer offered to move so she can go to the bathroom she said “No I am not going anywhere”. The producer was shocked to see that the woman would rather sit in her own piss than miss out on seeing the rest show.”

What’s the best chat-up line you’ve ever heard/used?

MICKEY: “Wanna help me dig a shallow grave?”

JAYMIE: “Can I practice the tricks on you?”

Favourite or worse heckle you’ve ever had?

MICKEY: “Your mother should’ve worn a condom!”

JAYMIE: “My mother was in the audience and my Puppeteer partner at the time, Sammy, asks her ‘Is it how you remember seeing it?’ (referring to my willy) to which my Mum replied ‘Yeah it hasn’t changed much’!”

If you were a flavour of ice cream, what would you be and why?

MICKEY: “Pralines and Dick… just like last time they asked me.”

JAYMIE: “Balls-enberry, or Peniscolada flavo.”

Puppetry Of The Penis performs at Royalty Theatre at 9.45pm from Fri Feb 13 until Sat Mar 7.

Book at FringeTIX on 1300 621 255 or Click HERE to purchase your tickets.

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